Monday, June 2

Life is an unnerving popularity contest, and I am, with pleasure, backing out gracefully.
I will admit to not always seeing the brutality that is a life in the limelight. I wasn't necessarily always so clear-sighted in this department, and I suffered for it. But with growing older, I have realized more and more just how dangerous being the coveted center of attention really is.
For instance, while living in Orlando, I was subjected to some of the most horrid forms of ridicule I have had to experience in my twenty years.
Why? Because others felt threatened by me. Now the big question arises:
WHY?!
I am one of the most friendly, helpful, and outgoing individuals I have ever met. Well, the answer is unfortunately, an easy one.
Throughout life, insecurity will come in and out, rearing its ugly head at the most inoppurtune times. Those around you may or may not have just cause to dislike you, but you will encounter many situations where that dislike is caused by the need to be the most well-liked; the most sought-after indivdual in the room. No other explanation can upset me more than this.
I have yet to figure out why those around me constantly feel the need to expose themselves to dramatic situations as often as possible.
Is it entertaining? Do they learn to love themselves because of it? I hardly imagine so. For what it's worth, this rant was one of many to come.
As Jim says it best; "Jesus, Jane. How does so much shit happen to you and yours?"

Well, love. The answer is simple. Being a unique person will always draw forth unique crowds.
I am so miserably blessed.

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i am young, though every sunrise brings another aching muscle, another sore joint. i am wise, though every mistake holds consequences, and every hurt makes room for emptiness. I will one day rise; face myself, and let knowledge run rampant.