I find it most fascinating, that at the latest hours, my most intuitive ideas befall me.
I have spent the past fifteen hours enjoying a sort of vacation; a vacation from all familiarity, all every day purpose.
Though dear friends have been around the last few days, I still find myself feeling freed. Perhaps they were merely a different part of the peaceful equation; stead-fast in my life, yet detached in a blissful way.
I find myself miserably tired and without motivation these days...I find myself wishing only for sleep. Perhaps I am coming into my yearly depression. A sadness I fear does not let go of this unassuming heart, but molds it coldly for several weeks at a time.
I am no suicide risk, readers. Merely one soul needing the silence that seems such a hard find in this time we call youth.
I am a lonely soul, often enough. It is as though I prevent myself from partnership, prevent those around me from knowing how to reach me. I suppose every one has their safety net, and I am certainly no different, though I wish that some how, I could find myself in all of this. Some day, I will find a way to smile through the pain of youth and lonliness, but today is not that time.
How many times have you asked yourself questions such as this? How many times have you woken in the morning wondering if perhaps, life as you were raised to expect it, isn't as wonderful and full of hope as you were told. Maybe things aren't meant to be good for some people.
These questions are common, as unfortunate as this appears. I am a sufferer, though I choose to fight the silence.
Watch carefully; we are all at some level of risk.