Oh, Bud Light

After a long evening spent drinking Bud Light and smoking monumental amounts of weed, I have come to a decision. It's definitely time for me to take a break from drinking. I'm not by any means saying that I drink often, either.
I just don't think drinking agrees with me as well as smoking does. Smoking seems to fight the depression and Attention Deficit, but drinking only adds to both.
I have also decided that when I do drink, I enjoy doing so alone. My irritation with the human race seems to only get more intense with the consumption of alcohol.
Review your vices for a moment. There has to be one that really seems useless to you, even if you cannot seem to live without it. Well, beer it is, for me.

The next portion of this can only be dedicated to Vodka, because Vodka is the bane of my very existence. Three shots, in fifteen minutes. I was spinning like a propeller on an airplane, and actually had to make myself stop drinking because I felt so sick to my stomach. Why is it, I wonder, that a woman of my nationality and history of familial alcoholism, cannot handle such a beverage?
I believe that the answer is simple; Vodka was designed for women who don't drink often, and like to get smashed when they do. Hello, high school girls. I have come to this conclusion based on the number of young women I have witnessed pouring the filthy stuff down their throats, and then complaining about their decision making skills the next morning.
For this reason, I'll take my whiskey and coke any day. I like to be able to make decisions I don't regret, and I haven't regretted a damn thing at all, lately. So cheap drunks, I advise you. Switch to cheap whiskey. It's harsh, but mix it with some Ginger Ale, and you should be all set.

Jim Beam, anyone?
-fin